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Archive for the ‘Elizabeth Collier’ Category

July 31st 1864

Be patient – love always. Live without Love, there was a time

Idle moment   Richard   In the long hereafter

Next Thursday is the day of the election. Holden’s defeat is certain. The soldiers vote as they fight – for Southern right but we want it an overwhelming defeat for Holden. The people at home must be true to themselves. They must rid our dear old state of those who seek her ruin, restore her fair name. You can bear all else better than disgrace.

 

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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July 3rd 1864

It is in vain to deny that life has its troubles, & death its alarms. We cannot disguise the bitterness of the cup which man is called to drink. Nor can we help the cry, that if it be possible that cup may pass from us. But God has done better or us than to cause it to pass. He has made it the cup of immortality. Trial & grief are the preparation for glory. The grave is the gate of Heaven. The death of the body is the emancipation of the soul. Emancipated souls are to reunite in a happier & better society. The souls of the righteous are in the hand of God & there can no evil touch them. In the sight of the universe they seem to die, & their departure is taken for misery. But they are at peace for God has loved them & received them to himself & they shall rejoice evermore.

 

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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June 27th 1864

Why should I remember June 27th 1862?

The bitterness of desolation has not left me yet. God in His all wise providence has ordered that I should suffer on – Suffer & in the end be strong. Sally, my Precious friend my heart is with you to-night- as we live over our life long sorrows. God comfort you my child. My heart is sorely given, yet this daily suffering draws me nearer and near to my God. And at last we shall count as naught these trials in the long hereafter.“God only designs our dross to consume, out god to refine.”

I feel that my life on earth will always be desolate but not cheer less – there is in store for me the comfort of contributing to the happiness of others – & god will give me His Peace.

 

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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Everittsville

June 17th 1864

Sally my ever dear friend. The moon’s pale beams fall gently into my room as I write. Thoughts of you come thick and fast. I look out into the calm moonlight, & wonder how it is possible for that org to look so serenely down upon all this terrible blood shed. The end of all this suffering is not yet.

Richmond must & shall not fall. The enemies despairing of ever whipping in an open engagement, are determined if possible to get possession of Danville, & South Side Rail Road & thus have the Capitol besieged. God grant it may never be done. Glorious old Virginia there is no sorrow like unto here, neither is there faith like unto hers. The whole state over run – yet she stands up nobly & will resist unto the end.

The coming election for Governor in N Car. is to decide much for the state’s weal or woe- if Holden & his colleagues are trampled under foot we are safe. I trust that the people will rouse themselves in time. Oh that the finger of scorn should be pointed at my native state. I blush for her few remaining men.

 

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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Sept 2nd 1863

I long more intensely if possible for human love, which it would seem that I am fated never to have. Day by day the bitterness of the desert. There is a void in my heart which nothing but Heaven can fill – our little Angel has left us. God has taken her to happier Home. My heart is utterly desolate – O my God let me listen to Thee – Come ye disconsolate, where ‘er you languish. Come at God’s alter fervently kneel.

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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July 28th ‘63

A letter from Sam this morning. I knew he must have written before. I trust he feels as he ought to. I wrote to him telling him what to do. I hesitated long before I did it – – but I believe before God that it is right for him so to do – I only hope that he may come safely through this fiery trial, which is to try his soul as well as his body.

I thought the dream of my life had passed away but not so – I still suffer – but time conquers all things – this feeling must succumb at last –

 

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

 

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Lochiel July 21st 1863

Spent today at Mrs. Roulhac’s really had a very nice time. They are so kind – if it were not for them I should have a miserable time here but there is always something to be thankful for.

Sam, Sam why do you not write to us? Poor Ma feels it so deeply I know she does. It is well we cannot see the end of things. O War, terrible War when will you have scourged us enough? The darkest hour is just before day. Just so sure as there is a God in Heaven, we will be free free  from our enemies.

Sad lonely & weary. I wonder when it will ever be otherwise. My first love – all women’s first love what are they? The dream is almost o’er, I have reached that stage of feeling when the remembrance of the past is sad yet sweet. All the bitterness of grief has left me – I am all alone yet – The world & worldly things –

Tomorrow morning – dear place! Would I were a child again – I feel so stupid this evening, want something & somebody to cheer me up – to arouse my latent energies, to make me feel that I am a woman – I know that there is something in me above the humdrum life I lead – I was never made for it – I am wasting – I should like to know who has this self same opinion of me no-body – Mrs. Sol Williams has lost her mind – poor woman! It is only temporary but she has a claim to his name how which his love alone would never have given her. It is best, even as it is – she’s happier now – Vicksburg, our Stronghold, our Gibraltar has fallen, but what of that, who but cowards ever despond-

Nothing from Sam yet, my poor boy.

Source: Elizabeth Collier Diary, Southern Historical Collection, UNC-Chapel Hill.

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